Today, on The History Channel

This morning, on The History Channel, I saw the most fascinating and informative program. Perhaps you've seen it? It's a documentary, apparently, called "Patriot Games" in which a group of bloodthirsty terrorists invade America. In this case the terrorists are Irish (I'm sure you all remember when Irish terrorists invaded America, I think it was in the 1980s), but somehow this doesn't make the film any less pertinent than if the terrorists had been from, say, Iraq. Frankly, I learned a lot by watching it!

For instance, I learned all about the way a terrorist's mind works. "Patriot Games" focuses on one terrorist in particular, Sean, who went out of his way to attack the American home and family of a well-known CIA agent, Harrison Ford. Sean was very upset at Harrison Ford because, while on holiday in England, Harrison Ford killed Sean's little brother (who was also a terrorist, but still a young and relatively innocent one). Apparently Sean didn't realize that a good CIA agent never goes off duty, even while on holiday in England he is allowed -- actually, encouraged -- to kill whatever kind of terrorist he sees fit, even the relatively innocent kind. (I guess I learned something about the CIA too!) Anyway, Sean was really upset about this, so he convinced some of his terrorist friends to attack America with him, as revenge for his little brother. Pretty soon it became clear to me that terrorists don't even care about anything at all, other than revenge and mindless killings. Although these particular terrorists started out with some kind of mission (I think it had to do with something called the IRA, I'm not exactly sure, the film wasn't so clear on this point), but by the end it's obvious that the terrorists are only thirsty for blood, especially the blood of Harrison Ford and his family, for which the terrorists had gained a taste earlier in the film when they machine gunned Harrison Ford's wife and daughter (who survived, thankfully, even though his daughter lost her spleen). This, I think, is why the film was ultimately about family values. In fact, the more that I think about it, the more important I think "Patriot Games" is with its numerous messages about family values and national defense and the bloodthirsty mindset of the terrorists who will clearly stop at nothing to pursue their mindless killings, even when it means coming to America and trying to kill us family by family at night while we sleep in our own homes. Anyway, I also learned that it's better to keep the family shotgun loaded and easily accessible at all times, with plenty of fresh shells nearby, than to hide it in some closet, unloaded, with the box of shells stashed somewhere else altogether. I mean, what kind of sense would that make?

So, you see, I learned a lot by watching the documentary "Patriot Games" on The History Channel. The whole experience has convinced me to tune in to the History Channel more often in the future. In college, I used to watch The History Channel all the time. My favorite program was a documentary about all the different kinds of poison gas they used in World War I. Some kinds would choke you to death or burn you or blind you whereas other kinds would make you bleed on the inside. They sure used a lot of poison gas in that war! But now I have seen that The History Channel has broadened its scope even more and will now cover current historical events -- and with equal grace and authority. Bravo History Channel!